'Mama said there'd be days like this'

I don't know whether its teeth, or just the age of independence, but parenting Magnolia these days, weeks, has been very hard.  She just turned 18 months old, and while the joy she brings to us gets better and better, sometimes we go through a phase that is so hard that it brings me to tears and we are smack in the middle of one.  This usually results in me crying a bit, putting Magnolia in her crib for some much needed mother breaks to regroup, eat, drink, hydrate and prepare for the next round. And whining to my husband about moving back to Michigan where our families can help out.  This is a constant for me, I love Colorado so much, but raising a child without help from family is not easy. 

Finding my 'style' -- how to find your style or brand?

One of the things that I think is most important when you have your own business, especially one that is artistic, is defining your style or brand and carrying that through all of the work you do.  Its one of my biggest struggles as an artist.  
What is my style?  If I had to define it in one word, I think it would be 'eclectic.'  Never have I liked just one style, I am ever changing and love a variety of things.  Always looking for something new and different; a new place to hike, a new piece to create, a new way to edit my photos.  But how does this ever-changing style develop into a brand?  
I don't know -- I wish I did, which is why I am writing this post.  

Will I ever get these kid songs out of my head?

Seriously.  I can't stop singing 'kid songs,' it was over a week ago that I let Magnolia play with the tablet on kids mode; she likes to play videos and listen to the same songs, over and over again.  
When I really need some time to make dinner, or just a break from playing with her all day, I break out the tablet and let her play games.  Then, while she is playing, I suffer through, "Hold Still, Wiggle-wiggle-wiggle, GO!" and "I don't wanna go slow, I go fast" while I try to cook dinner.  
Then, apparently for the next month, the price to pay for making dinner was wake up singing these songs, going to sleep singing these songs; over and over, I sing these songs.  Because I am a big dork, I will break into song and dance at random times with these silly songs, which really cracks Magnolia up, but it reminds me that I am in full-on 'mom' mode now.  All about baby, all the time.  

Blogging, I Miss You

Blogging:  I love it.  I love reading blogs nad I love writing them.  Its one of my favorite hobbies, and the best way for me to clear my head of all the stuff I am trying to balance. 

Stream of consciousness writing is what I enjoy, and I know you're thinking, 'Oh, how very Virginia Woolf of you,' right?  She IS one of my inspirations, but picking back up this blog is directly related to one of my new favorite bloggers Kelli Hampton.  You can find her blog here.  But it was this post, which inspired me to continue blogging, and myself and documenting my life as a mama:  one who works from home, takes care of a little spitfire named Magnolia and attempts to enjoy my creative outlets of photography, hiking, music and loving life!   I've been writing here, on and off, since 2007 and you've seen my interests change, my hobbies grow into full time jobs and shared in our adventures, and I am eager to continue that again. 

Mothering? Maybe I am just not cut out for this.

Being a parent is hard; being a work from home mother is even harder.  I struggle juggling a very part time job (that we need) and a very busy, fussy, strong-willed baby.  I usually feel like I am not doing enough with her, while I am trying to get work done, then feed her, take a walk, clean up our messes from play, cooking dinner, etc.  And then there is naptime.  The time when my blood pressure rises and I seriously wonder why we had children.  Naptime.  I love it.  I hate it.  My child doesn't sleep well.  Refuses to nap, and pretty much will scream in her crib for hours on end if we'd let her.  Yes, we have tried every method, I have read every book; we leave her to cry, we ferberize her, we don't let her cry and continually go into comfort her, I nurse her, change her, snuggle her, nothing works.  Right now we are in a rut, where she refuses her morning nap, even though she is tired; and she only takes 1 nap during the day, which lasts exactly 60 minutes.  Sixty minutes, that is all I have in my 11 hour day to take a break from hollering and screaming and demanding my time.  60 minutes to clean up, to try to finish work, to rest.  Its not enough for me, and its certainly not enough for her.  She gets up from this 1 hour nap cranky, and proceeds to get crankier as the afternoon goes on, and this continues right until bedtime.  It-is-hard.  

One of my favorite photos.

Who doesn't love a little daddy, daughter photo, especially one thats outside, in the sunset? 

Beauty in Nature and Animals

I have always been inspired by the beauty in nature.  Mountain landscapes, scenic lakes and rivers, wild animals, and the changes the seasons brings each with it's own beauty make me want to snap endless photos. 
This page offers a collection of my favorite photos.