Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Controversy over everything during pregnancy; even the books don't havethe same info!

~* written from my perspective; pregnant for the first time, nervous, and hormonal; take these posts with a grain of salt please *~

I posted part 1 of my blog a couple of weeks ago, it was written in part early on in my pregnancy and then 2 weeks ago.  There was so much that came up with the topic, I wanted to continue it in another post.

One point that I didn't include in my previous post is regarding the information in the pregnancy books.  There are so many books about pregnancy to choose from out there, and each one of those says something different about key information during pregnancy. I can open up 4 different books on my shelf right now and get conflicting answers about almost everything during pregnancy.  I have started to pick and choose from books the answers that I like best, and since they are in a book, well, it must be true, right?  One of my books even states as a fact that you should skip the gym because exercise during pregnancy doesn't help with labor and delivery.  I was shocked to read that, because common sense says that its probably better to be fit than not fit, why not keep up minor exercise during pregnancy?
After debating with judgment and reason, I decided to get highlights in my hair after talking to my midwife about it.  She said there is no data saying highlights are bad during pregnancy.  And I decided to post about it on facebook to see what people would say, almost immediately I had several comments, IMs and private emails saying that highlights were not okay during pregnancy including those in the birthing and midwifery profession.  Wow, I was surprised at that!  Its not just midwives who say its okay and doctors do not, it depends on the medical professional.  Maybe there is no consistency at all?  My midwife told me that just keep in a well ventilated area and I'd be fine, plus the theory that the dye will get on your scalp then seep in through your skin then into your bloodstream, thus traveling to the placenta in getting into baby's system is a little far fetched (which is the same thing as one of my books, actually, but not 2 others).  So glad I chose this midwifery clinic, because I am happy with their answers to some of these controversial questions and their I love their philosophy on pregnancy, its perfect for me and thats who you need to be most comfortable with during this time.

After the previous post on this topic, I received many comments, some directly to this blog, others to my email and others to facebook where I often share the links to this blog.  One of my favorites was someone mentioned "getting crap from a 16 year old behind the counter at McDonalds for ordering a coffee (while pregnant)."  Does the 16 year old really think he knows more than the mother who is carrying that child.  And my mother had a few things to say as well,  "I remember Gram Flo telling me I couldn't paint when I was preg with you.  My doc said that was not true.  My Mom said, I couldn't lift my arms up above my head because cord would wrap around your neck. (cord did but raising my arms was not the cause)  Also, my doc said I could pretty much take any over the counter drug if needed for aches and pains or stomach upsets etc.  Yours says none is advised. My how things change don't they?"

What I don't understand is that women have been having babies for thousands of years, why don't we have firm answers regarding things during pregnancy?  It seems so ridiculous to me!  But then again, maybe its that every women and mother is different, and different things affect people in different ways? Or maybe we just don't study pregnancy as much as we do oncology or other diseases that need cures?  I don't really know?   Writing this is a humbling experience for me, because while its helping me heal and find my own path to write this blog, its also teaching me tolerance, something that I need more of.  Tolerance for differences.  People might not agree with my getting highlights, but I would hope they can respect my decision, while I need to better tolerate others decisions to leave everything not studied out during pregnancy.  I think its something that frustrates me because people seem to judge for not having the philosophy "when in doubt, go without" during pregnancy, but many of those people don't do everything exactly perfect either, only 30-40% of women breastfeed for greater than 3 months, many less  (which IS proven as the best thing for baby) and as many as 90% get an epidural during birth (which can have side effects of its own on you and/or baby), or maybe you just ate too much ice cream or chips, but not everyone is perfect with every single thing during pregnancy perfectly.   But those things aren't as controversial as highlights or wine.  There are so many things that taking a stand on every one as to right or wrong isn't consistent.

It comes back to judging pregnant women too harshly for their choices.  Most women do take the time to educate themselves on items like coffee, highlights and etc during pregnancy, just because you would do something different doesn't make what they are doing wrong.  * *within reason, of course* *  So, my point to all of this is don't judge pregnant women for their choices and if you are a mother look back at yourself to see if you did everything exactly text book right, and if you are not a mother, then just don't judge.

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