'Mama said there'd be days like this'

I don't know whether its teeth, or just the age of independence, but parenting Magnolia these days, weeks, has been very hard.  She just turned 18 months old, and while the joy she brings to us gets better and better, sometimes we go through a phase that is so hard that it brings me to tears and we are smack in the middle of one.  This usually results in me crying a bit, putting Magnolia in her crib for some much needed mother breaks to regroup, eat, drink, hydrate and prepare for the next round. And whining to my husband about moving back to Michigan where our families can help out.  This is a constant for me, I love Colorado so much, but raising a child without help from family is not easy. 
18 Months:
The real difficulty for me is power struggles; she pushes limits, which things do I reprimand and which do I let slide?   When its clear that she is doing something she's not supposed to, and she has been redirected a zillion times per day for months, yet she still does it.  (example: standing on the chairs is not allowed cause she jumps and falls off, but she keeps doing it; playing with moms computer is another one)
I don't want my daughters days to be filled with redirection and it takes all of my strength to turn the 'don't do that' into 'can you do __ instead of that' or finding some way to turn it positive.  Sometimes I want to rip my hair out, because none of it is really working.  
But, for now, I'll go get my hollering child out of her crib, and take her for a walk, which helps at least 1 of us to feel better.  Maybe we can go to the park, maybe this afternoon will be great...I can only hope.  
Would love some tips on how to manage redirection; what works for you?  

This blog is all about life around here and when I post here and see the posts I've written in the past it helps me to see how far I've come.  And with that thought, I am going to go get my child, who is not screaming at the top of her lungs (who has been in her crib a whole 20 minutes) and try to make this day a little better than it is right now.  
Now, how long do you think it'll take to put her shoes on?